100wc week1 term4

Boom! The car exploded and I went flying. It reminded me of the time I broke my toy car then fell on my face. Ow I hit my head on the solid concrete, I got up and ran for cover. The police were after me, I was carrying my cash on my shoulder as I ran. BANG! BANG! I was hit, blood came bursting out of my arm. I got in my van and drove as fast as I could. But they were too fast, they caught me in a matter of seconds. Now I spend my life in prison!

2 thoughts on “100wc week1 term4

  1. I really love the start and the end of this piece Joel.
    The sizzling start was great – really grabbed the attention of the reader.
    The change in sentence length at the end was a really nice way to tie up the writing at the end. The only bit that doesn’t seem to fit quite as well is the toy car – maybe you needed a different memory to fit the prompt.

  2. hi joel, I really liked the story and the sizzling start because it hooked me in when i saw it.
    Keep up the good work! 🙂

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